this is your birthday song, it isn’t very long

And now, today, this actual day today—November the first—is my actual, true birthday. Every time I have talked about my birthday previous to this, over the past few weeks, someone has wished me a happy birthday in the comments, and I felt very guilty that I had inadvertently mislead you all and…what? Ruined everyone’s lives? I’m not sure why, exactly, guilt has kicked in, but it has, and that is because I am so old and going to die alone and really what’s the point and the world’s going to end soon anyway, so who cares? Now wish me happy birthday!

I tend to get very melancholy on my birthday, and not because I feel old or used up or washed out or in the gutter or overeasy or any of a whole bunch of other prepositional clichés. Birthdays just feel big and important and big and important things make me feel small and unimportant and then I get sad and swill gin and wonder if anyone has ever really loved me or ever will. Look, there I go again.

Today, though, I’m going to get through with a minimum of drama and self-pity (unless it is the comedic kind, oh woe! And involves a fainting couch, because cool!) and a maximum of feeling good and pampered and happy and pretty and also pretty fabulous (above: getting pretty! a photo by Melinda). On the agenda, we have a manicure and pedicure—shiny! Eyebrows, waxed; hair, cut; drinks, down my gullet. Happiness, complete. Especially if I make time, somewhere in there, to buy myself some sassy new panties and maybe a giant bottle of the lavender L’Occitane foaming bath stuff I love so much and must have because without it I will die and what’s the point?

Maybe I need to add a massage, and a facial, and a diamond pony and some sandwiches or something.

16 Replies to “this is your birthday song, it isn’t very long”

  1. OHHH wow i love the new hair colour, you saucy wench you :)

    (it’s my birthday today, too… hurrah for November 1! hope you have a fab day)

  2. Well, FINALLY :)

    Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, sexy (lovin’ the new raven locks!). Sounds like you have a fabulous day planned. You deserve it.

    I hope this is a wonderful day of fun and drinks and more fun and drinks and also maybe some reflection on what a year it’s been and the incredible things that (I know) lie ahead.

  3. Wow! Anne, you and I survived 34th years and we made it together. I love you so much. HAPPY BIRTHDAY and at least another 34 or more for you and maybe even me.

  4. Happy, Happy (belated) Birthday!!

    I hope your day was fantastic and the year to come will be just as wonderful!

    I, too, LOVE the new color. It’s strange, I envied your reds now I’m envious of the black. Oh what to do!?!

    Have a fantastic Friday! May the hangover be small and manageable! ;)

  5. Hi Anne,
    Happy, happy day–belated. I hope you are still celebrating. My daughter always has a “Birthday Festival” since she lives in 2 houses. I hearby declare the first 2 weeks of November Anne’s Birthday Festival. Let the Wild Rumpus Continue!

  6. I just discovered your blog from a link on Jeanette’s (Half Of Me) blog. We appear to have a lot in common. We have the same birthday (Exactly one year apart) and I always feel the same way on my birthday. Nobody loves me Boo Hoo. I don’t know why I get that way every year. I am on a weight loss journey as well, losing 40 lbs in the past 7 months. I look forward to reading more of your blog.

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