naked: dear my boobs (boob day, part II)

Dear My Boobs:

Do you remember when we were happy? I remember that. You were big, and round, and surprisingly perky for your size–you were a pain in the ass to strap in, when I exercised, but you looked so nice in low-cut shirts, because whoa, mountains and valleys and cleavage. You looked nice in tight shirts, too. You made me feel dressed up even when I dressed down, sexy even when I was feeling low, and my favorite part of getting naked with someone was when I’d pull off my shirt, and they’d unhook my bra, and that whoa moment, right before the manhandling–whoa, nice tits! You distracted from the rest of my imperfections, the parts of my body I disliked, was ashamed of, outright hated.

Do you remember that one time, when I was on top, and he looked up and said “has anyone ever told you that you have magnificent breasts?” I laughed. And I felt incredibly sexy. I felt beautiful. It is sad to say that one’s entire sexual attractiveness resides in exactly one place, but that’s how it was. If you had asked me what I liked about myself, when I weighed more, I would have said my eyes, my hands, and definitely my boobs.

You’ve changed, boobs. You are so much smaller. You are not gone, entirely–there you still are, on either side of my chest, but you make me feel self-conscious, now. You have perked back up, after a brief and frightening few months, but you are still different. You look different in clothes, and v-necked tops are not wonderfully obscene, any more, and when I’m on top, I feel conspicuous, strange, naked without you. How crazy is that? It’s a little crazy. I don’t know how to dress without you to highlight, I don’t know how to flirt without you–the lean doesn’t work anymore, you know. I don’t know how to be sexy. I don’t want to get surgery on you, dear my boobs, because you do not deserve to be cut like a member of a girl gang. I want to learn to love you, because it is not a bad thing that you are small. Dear my boobs, I am sure we can be happy together, still. We’ll figure it out, I hope.   

  1 comment for “naked: dear my boobs (boob day, part II)

  1. Jess
    March 12, 2008 at 11:58 am

    Did I just write this? I have been lamenting this for the past few days.

    Sure, I’m still “above average” when it comes to my band, but if I compare it to what I used to be, I am now just average, and probably even harder to buy bras for.

    :( Oh well. My boobs are still awesome.

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