naked: bikini waxing: the terrible controversy!

Recently, Cosmo had an article about Brazilian waxes, and how they’re Empowering! And Everyone’s Doing Them! And how they’re Changing the World! And then Jezebel produced a post about that very terrible article, which has spawned a 300-count-and-growing comment thread that is mostly about how disgusting it is to remove your pubic hair; that they, the commenters, are Real Women and Women Have Hair; that to remove that hair is to Give in to the Patriarchy and Look Prepubescent–and generally, I want to say screw you.



My vagina, bereft of hair, remains a woman’s vagina because holy crap!
I’m a woman! It is also a lot easier to deal with and neater during my
period, far more, way more, so ridiculously more sensitive during oral
sex, and I know for a fact that sometimes a faceful of wet hair is not
the most pleasant sensation in the world–I am nothing if not polite.

Why
is it a problem that I want to wax? It doesn’t hurt as much as everyone
swears it does, I have the money for it, I am not doing it because it
is hip, I am not an idiot who is doing it because Cosmopolitan
magazine tells me that I have to if I want to be a real woman, a wreck
who thinks my body is disgusting and needs to be fixed, a weakling who
goes bare because my man tells me I better or I’m not getting any
because that’s the way vaginas in porn movies look.

I do it
because I want to do it. I like it. I do not think your pubic hair is a
problem–why is my lack a problem? I am as confused by the women in the
gym, as one Jezebel commenter recounts,
who criticize other women for having full and luxurious mounds of pubic
hair as I am by the women who say that waxing is disgusting and wrong.
What the hell, people?

Which wave of feminism is it that talks
about our right to make informed, well-thought-out decisions about our
bodies? Because that’s the one I want to be a part of. That’s the one I
want to bring back, the one where you say “My Body, My Choice,” full
stop, without going on to suggest that your body is wrong. Where women
stop undermining each other over stupid crap, stop assuming that all
women are the kinds of idiots who listen to women’s magazines and base
all their choices on their dictates, and start worrying about the
important things. Like not the state of my vagina.

  10 comments for “naked: bikini waxing: the terrible controversy!

  1. AfterGirl
    April 10, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    Amen!

  2. Nina
    April 10, 2008 at 6:52 pm

    What I object to most is the fact that we as women are using our precious time and energy arguing about public hair and not using that energy to smash the patriarchy!

  3. April 10, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Righteous, my sister!

  4. April 10, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    amen, nina.

    signed,

    Baldie

  5. Sky
    April 11, 2008 at 10:05 am

    Hm-I don’t normally read Jezebel, but I went over and read the post and its whole comment thread because your post made me curious. I don’t think your summary of it is correct or doing justice to a relatively nuanced (and pretty hilarious!) comment thread.

    From my vantage point, it looks like you have an unnecessary desire to grind an ax with them. You might want to re-read the thread while trying to be less defensive about it.

  6. kb
    April 11, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    while I’m not going to say anything about the Jezebel comments, which I haven’t read, I have to say, telling people to consider who/what is suggesting/pushing/advocating/has a stake in your choices is not the same thing as making a bikini wax a crime.

  7. April 11, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    It wasn’t my intention to suggest that waxing was being considered a crime–that is simplifying my argument a little too much. The title was an editorial change, for search engine purposes. I’ve appealed.

  8. Jamie
    April 13, 2008 at 3:32 am

    Hear, hear. I keep myself bare for a variety of reasons, but really, the simple fact that I .want. to is all that matters. My twat, my business.

  9. Amy
    April 26, 2008 at 12:08 pm

    I could not agree with your Paragraphs 3 & 4 any more than I do right now! I have read this entry without reading any preceding/related entries, so I am basing my comments only on this entry and don’t care if you have an ax to grind. All I care to say here is that Paragraphs 3 & 4 completely speak for me as well. And ultimately, if you do not like the idea of brazilian waxing, then fine! Don’t do it. I don’t care of you like your pubic hair too much to remove it. But for chrissake, mind your own FREAKIN’ business and don’t judge me because I’d rather get rid of mine! I do it for ME! Not anyone else!!!!!

    And no, it DOESN’T hurt THAT much!!!!!!

  10. Jennifer
    November 30, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    I think I agree with Sky—I think you are getting all worked up over nothing. Nobody said you couldn’t do it–they just made fun of the women who do. Which is perfectly fair, and should be completely expected. And, apparently, there IS a problem with younger men expecting women to get Brazilians now, which I am personally disgusted by. I wax my eyebrows (cause I can’t stand the plucking) and there is no way on earth I would let hot wax near my hoo hoo. The brows are bad enough. I don’t mind a little trim (and am thankful when my man does it, too), but I can only imagine how uncomfortable being completely bare down there would be. Fortunately, my man is a man, is not attracted to prepubescent children, and is happy enough to see me naked to not complain about too much hair.

    And, frankly, I can’t get out of my mind the connection between bare vagina = prepubescence. Seriously, do we really want to *encourage* men to seek out younger and younger women to have sex with? The thought just creeps me out.

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