naked: money for nothing and your porn totally for free

The problem with porn is that you buy one for say, 50 bucks. Especially if it’s one of those fantastic spectacular spectaculars. And you’ve got a movie that’s about an hour, two hours long. Which is about dollar a penis, fifty cents an “Oh baby, yeah, like that,” 42 cents for every minute, a quarter for every badly done fake boob. Maybe my math is a little off, but that’s okay. The general idea that I’m trying to get at, here, is that porn is expensive.

The fact that goes along with the expense of porn (and we’re talking, here, about porn you buy for yourself, not something you share with your partner) is that you’re not getting a lot for your money, despite the fact that you’ve got two hours full of deep dicking. Why? Because you’re not going to sit and watch two hours worth of deep dicking, are you? Even if it’s one of those very excellent storied porns full of pirates, there’s only so much enthusiastic doing it you can watch before you either get impatient and take care of things, bored, or overwhelmed, suddenly, by the absolute ridiculousness of the entire enterprise and the bizarre artificiality of the porn industry and then you’re going to realize that you’re thinking entirely too much and need to turn it off because you’re just not in the mood any more.



So usually, before things get complicated, you’re going to watch for
maybe ten minutes, tops, take care of yourself, and move on. Again, you
could keep watching, all by yourself and lonely on the couch, just to
try to get your money’s worth, but–no. That’s not likely to happen. You
will never get your money’s worth! You may as well just quit watching
porn altogether, and go live in a nunnery and milk sheep and think pure
thoughts about doves and unpastuerized cheese.

You could also go to the (NOT safe for work) redtube, a site that’s
been around for awhile, but is a brilliant new discovery for me. It is,
pretty much, YouTube for porn. It’s got a billion different porn
clips, ranging from 30 seconds to 30 minutes, and arranged
thoughtfully into categories like Big Tits, Blow Job, Wild & Crazy
and Gay, and rated with stars that actually seem to mean very little,
but it always makes you feel a little fancy, to watch a five-star porn
clip. So stick with redtube for all your quick-and-dirty masturbation
needs, and save the DVD buying for those special occasions.

  3 comments for “naked: money for nothing and your porn totally for free

  1. May 22, 2008 at 5:53 pm

    I absolutely agree. It’s my second favorite prime time thing ;D

  2. May 23, 2008 at 10:00 am

    What an excellent tip for surviving the recession!! Genius.
    Way too much porn goes to waste, at least in our house. I come after about 5 minutes, lose interest, and the rest of the film goes to waste.
    So, you’re also telling us that Redtube is essentially a green site.
    On a political note, I heard Mitt Romney in a campaign speech say that if president, he would clean up the internet, and put all the pornographers under house arrest!
    Evidently he’s never been on the internet, but, whew! I still feel like we’ve all dodged a big bullet.
    best regards!

  3. Anonymous
    May 25, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    I like http://www.tube8.com . Its just as guy orientated as Redtube, but I think you can find something worth watching.
    :)
    BTW
    You can scan to any part of the video without buffering.
    And his guy is built!!
    http://www.tube8.com/teen/maria—costa-sperma/4102/

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