naked: you know you’ve got a favorite secret sexual position–spill it

To this day, I don’t think I’ve ever tried the Reverse Cowgirl. But that’s just because of post-traumatic “Saddle up, babe!” stress. But I also haven’t tried the The Wheelbarrow, or the Piledriver, and it is sad, how I now sound like I am terribly unimaginative and lame in the sack. You’re supposed to have an entire repertoire of creative moves to totally destroy your partner’s mind with your incredible sexual energy, flexibility and inventiveness!

That is what the porn movies say, and you know you can trust that everything you see in a porn movie is the right way to have sex. On top! Spin around and take it from behind! Flip over onto your hands! Now I want to see you do a reverse standing somersault with a 360-degree dismount, all the while keeping enough suction to start up a Harley so I hope you’ve been doing your kegels, ladies! Hup! Hup! Hup!

No. It makes me tired, frankly.



Most of the positions you see in books, in magazines, on websites that tell you that they sure have got the perfect position for you,
bored housewife!–they seem inventive for the sake of inventiveness, more
aerobic than really strictly necessary, and requiring some kind of
degree in physics. Sometimes, you are expected to bend in ways that
regular bodies do not go. Sometimes, I suspect that certain
sexual positions have been invented entirely as very humorous jokes on
a gullible, unsuspecting, vaguely sexually unsatisfied population by
bored women’s magazine editors, or sadistic pornography directors who bitterly regret their careers.

But
I’ve also enjoyed (or laughed at until we’ve fallen over, or cramped up
in) a number of insane positions, and there is always room for
experimentation, right? Mixing it up a little bit? I’ll tell you what,
though–the best ones have always been the tips you share with your
buddies over a couple of drinks, when your friend leans in and says, Oh
my god, okay, I have to tell you, last night, we tried doing it this
way? And it was amazing. I will always be grateful for having
The Ballerina passed along to me (the missionary position, with your
thighs together and your toes pointed) in this way.

Have you got
a super sex position secret? What position would you like to pass
along? And while we’re at it, what’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve
ever tried? (Sign in anonymously, if you are shy, but share the wealth!)

  7 comments for “naked: you know you’ve got a favorite secret sexual position–spill it

  1. M. Ross
    May 15, 2008 at 6:02 pm

    Can you maybe explain this Ballerina thing a little more? Because, um, how do I put this…? If your thighs are *together*, how the heck does it get in there?
    My personal favourite position has always been the way nature intended it – doggy-style! Boring, I know. However, I’ve found that being with a guy who is very well-endowed can make a lot of those previously impossible positions seem easy.
    (And the most ridiculous position I’ve been in probably occurred during one of my less-than-successful attempts at wielding a strap-on. The things we do for love, eh?)

  2. Anonymous
    May 15, 2008 at 6:44 pm

    M., you put your thighs together *after* he’s in. And it’s great. (And if you can’t quite put them *together* together, at least getting them inside his legs–instead of straddling him– and straightening them feels good.) :-)
    It’s not exactly crazy, but the other night my guy sat on a chair and I sat on his lap (facing away from him) and we had sex while he kissed my neck and rubbed his fingers really lightly up and down my spine… that was amazing.

  3. Anonymous
    May 16, 2008 at 1:42 am

    To be honest, my man and I didn’t even have sex in a bed missionary style until four years into our relationship. We lost our virginity together in a lawn chair, with me on his lap. And it was good.
    Maybe it’s just me, but I enjoy those “crazy” positions. A good laugh during sex is always a plus.

  4. B.B.
    May 16, 2008 at 9:40 am

    For our wedding night, my sister, who is a frigid as they come, gave us the same handbook she’d been given on her wedding night. She said it didn’t do much for her but it gave us hours of laughter and experimentation. And, just for the record, unless you both weigh less than 100 pounds, there is no way that most of them work!!!! Most of the time, we ended up in a pile, laughing hysterically.
    Over the years, we’ve come to realize that the best position for him is doggy style (cuz he can stand and beat his chest like Tarzan tee hee hee) and for me, being on top. Then I get to control the show and drive him INSANE… :)
    The most ridiculous thing we’d ever tried involved a vibrating thing I held in my mouth in order to give him a buzzing b.j. It left my jaw numb and actually got so hot, it burned my tongue!

  5. Osirus
    May 17, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    I like the ballerina ooohhhh it’s snug,anyway I have a variation of the doggie style I like to call the dress shoe,just have her put on some pumps and stand up instead of being on hands and knees in the bed,she can lean on anything that is available,this works real well for tall men who date short women,also the lotus seems to be pleasurable for the ladies,while on her back with you on top lift her legs up and instead of her resting her legs on your shoulders,or having her put her legs together or you just letting her legs rest where they may, have her cross her legs as if she is sitting indian style,you can help keep her legs in that position by using your chest for her legs to rest on while they are crossed,another one I enjoy is after doing it doggie for a while,take a pillow and put it under her while she is still on her hands and knees then slowly have her lay down on the pillow while still being inside,the pillow will make her booty raise up more and it gives greater and deeper penetration,I have had no complaints with this one unless she’s not able to take all of me,with this one you can get close to her and lay on the booty while doing it and can kiss her back and her neck or can raise up on your hands and just give the deep thrust,and if you two are really into it she can even turn her head to kiss while you are laying on her anyway it’s great.I will agree that some of the positions you see in books can be difficult but I’ve had fun making variations to get the maximum pleasure,have fun!!!!! :-)

  6. MM
    July 12, 2008 at 6:14 pm

    My personal fave is in a chair, facing eachother, girl sitting on guy’s lap. This one is great for lots of kissing and eye contact.
    Unfortunately for me and my guy, girl on top just doesn’t work. I’m really short and he’s got a big belly…it’s a recipe for disaster!

  7. Krystyna
    July 16, 2008 at 10:50 am

    For me it is the “Doggy style” possition whith the hair pulling its very intense and that makes it more enjoyable. Dont be afraid to talk dirty guys love it

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