naked: no one cares about your back fat

Today, I came across a sentence in a blog that I read, which stopped me just about dead. The author was talking about a very cool strapless dress that she had just bought, which she loves, and which made her very happy, sexy and hot and lickable and delicious. She said it wasn’t perfect–a little tight in the belly, a little loose in the bust, and a little low in back, which exposed her back fat. But so what, she continued on:

“Nobody really cares about my back fat except me and people who hate me, anyway, and who cares about the people who hate me?”

And I was gobsmacked, taken aback, startled and amazed by the absolute, simple genius of that statement, and a little irritated (not to mention kind of embarrassed) that the thought hadn’t occurred to me before, that I hadn’t thought of it myself. I mean, we hear that all the time, right? How people are too busy worrying about themselves and their own perceived flaws to spend any time thinking about yours.

But that sentence, right up there, nails down the suspicion that we have and that we can’t ever really let go of, because we are not stupid, we are realistic, and we might have even done it ourselves–people do talk about our flaws, and mock them, and all the happy hippy la la stuff we tell ourselves isn’t going to make the bitchy, judgmental assholes go away.



But the beautiful thing about that is the pithy, to-the-point, brilliantly simple shrug-off. Who cares about the bitchy, judgmental assholes? Who cares what a cowardly jerk thinks? Seriously.

Why
is this such a difficult-to-grasp concept? Why do we spend so much time
worrying about the opinions of people who, in the end, do not matter
even a little bit? When we feel absolutely eat-me-up, outrageously
sexy, when we feel tough and strong and amazing, when we know that we
could conquer the world with a swing of our luscious hips and have
anyone we want with just a tiny upturn of our lip and the crook of our
littlest finger, we have the only opinion that matters, and the haters
can just fuck off.

  8 comments for “naked: no one cares about your back fat

  1. momo
    July 29, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    Thank you for this. You are totally right: this makes absolute sense, but somehow the simple brilliance of it never crossed my mind in just this way.

  2. July 29, 2008 at 5:49 pm

    Absolutely true!! Now if only i could take my own advice and not care what other people think :)

  3. Meg
    July 30, 2008 at 12:54 am

    I’m going to print that out in a nicely designed sign and stick it up in my room where I’ll see it every day before I leave the house.
    Beautiful thought.

  4. July 30, 2008 at 6:24 am

    dang… words to live by. thank you for this :)

  5. July 30, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Soooo true. We live in such a self-absorbed world that no one is zeroing in on us the way we think they are…and those that are, screw ’em!! I like that ‘tude a lot.

  6. M
    July 30, 2008 at 10:44 am

    I’m hyperventilating at the thought of exposing my back fat to the general public. I get that no-one cares but me, but I still care!

  7. Sal
    July 30, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    Genius. I might embroider this on a sampler and have it framed. I shit you not.

  8. July 30, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    I used to have a friend who would always say, “It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” I always loved it, because it’s true — they can think whatever they want! I’m never going to really know for sure, and even if I did, there’s nothing I can do about it.

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