naked: sexual mistakes

Do you know how many things you could do wrong in bed? According to a survey by Clitical, as reported by Anne Sexton, a woman can make up to 20 faux pas in bed. Twenty things you have to avoid doing, for fear of terrible failure while you’re naked. It takes enough regular, every day confidence and bravery to be naked in front of another person–now you know exactly how much more you have to muster up, in order to make sure you are not mocked while you are naked, which pretty much ranks as the very number one worst time in anyone’s life to be mocked or feel stupid.

There’s enough to worry about, when you have stripped down and are contorting yourself into any number of potentially embarrassing positions; do we really need to have had this survey taken, a checklist handily provided for us to tick down obsessively when we should be concentrating on how good our bodies feel and how well they work and how wonderful it is to not just be weird floating heads. Just the idea had already gotten my blood pressure up, until I clicked through to the (apparently heterosexually-focused) list, and found that men were complaining, in fact, about the same things that have troubled me for a long time.



1. Don’t cover up, they say. 2. Where is your sexual
confidence? 3. Why must you think that you have a flawed body, when
here I am naked with you and wanting every square inch of it? Those sad
things, in the top five answers. I was going to say that we can’t call
them mistakes, really–but aren’t they? Aren’t you mistaken, when you
feel like you need to cover up? Aren’t you completely mistaken when you
think you aren’t good enough in bed? And it is a big mistake to think
that there is anything wrong with your body, because what have we told
you, woman? You are beautiful and so is that fine, fine ass of yours.
It is no mistake, when someone wants you.

(As for the other “mistakes”–who are these people they poll?)

  1 comment for “naked: sexual mistakes

  1. July 11, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    Well, I commit the granny panties sin every single damn day and my sweety of 28 years does not seem to mind at all, mostly because he hardly ever sees them on me.

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