Breaking news! Communication is key for your happiness in bed! You must take charge of your own sexual gratification, you are the captain of your sexual happiness, you pilot The Good Ship Multiple Orgasm! Except it’s not news, of course–top ten sex tips always, always include a bit about how important it is that you be on top of what you need and what you want and what fills you with desire. There’s a reason, though, for that. It’s important news. It is vitally important to remember that your happiness is in your own hands, literally and figuratively.
How often do we forget that our happiness is our own responsibility? Not just in bed, naked with another person. As vital as that is, we should also remember that our happiness with our bodies, the pleasure we take in being lucky enough to have the bodies we have, which carry us around and take all the shit we dish out and keep on going despite, because of, how well we take care of them–that responsibility belongs entirely to us.
Certainly the effect of images in the media cannot be underestimated.
The power of a strong, confident, sexy role model, a woman who is not the supposed ideal who embraces her so-called imperfections and is brave and gorgeous and powerful is incredibly inspirational; an ad telling you it’ll take you X number of pounds before you are sexy can be
disheartening and frustrating. These are both incredibly influential images,
and shutting them out is difficult.
Easier said than done, but
it has to be said: your happiness is in your own hands. The way you
feel about your body is not, in the end, subject to outside forces and
the whims of fate–it is entirely and 100 percent up to you. If
you feel weak, if you feel unhappy, if you feel un-powerful, then you
take that into your own hands, and you change that. If you are unhappy,
you can change that–that’s the important thing. You are the captain of all of your happinesses.