Photo via Splash
The most convenient way to exercise is to do it in your house, as it turns out. You can roll out of bed and stumble over to the DVD player and punch the play button. And then, you can flail all you like without the world judging you and finding you wanting some kind of grace and maybe a little dignity. Your pets will judge you, but you will not care, because of the joy you will take in the absolute freedom of more or less total privacy.
The problem with total freedom is that total freedom turns out to be that little things like pants cease to matter. You will pull on a sports bra, because your bosoms ought to be protected from the things that aerobics will do to them, and you might even put sneakers on, to cushion your knees and make it a little easier to jump around for just a little bit longer. But why should you put on anything else, really? You’ll overheat, if you’re wearing pants, and what’s the point of a top to go on over a bra that pretty much covers you neck to knees, and clothes are so restricting, anyway! Who needs them?
You don’t need them! As long as you don’t catch a glimpse of yourself
wearing a sports bra, panties and big old running shoes in the
reflection of the television, the door of the closet, the horrified
eyes of your cat. You’ll be quite happy and comfortable up until then,
at which point you’ll realize that you’re exercising in your underwear
and maybe what you need more in your life, above cardiovascular health,
is a little bit of dignity.