naked: period sex

A friend of mine–a wonderful, brave, strong, body-loving, all-natural woman–went on a romantic vacation recently. And when I asked her how it was, she said that it was not so great. That it was, in fact, ruined because she got her period. Oh no! I said. You mean your cramps were that bad? Oh god, you poor thing! No, she said. Because you can’t have sex during your period.

I was taken aback for a moment. I had not gotten that letter. You really don’t have sex during your period? I asked her. For real? For five to seven days, no sexual contact at all? No, she said, and I could hear in her voice that she thought I was crazy. What kind of maniac would want to get naked when they are bleeding vaginally? Who feels sexy and desirable when they are bloated and crampy and bloody?

When you put it that way–no, when I’ve eaten too many fish and chips
and drank too much beer and then have fallen down the stairs and come
staggering away with a slipped disc and having sustained a scalp wound,
I am generally not feeling up for sexy fun times. But my period?

Forgive me if I sound like a hippy dippy love child of the earth, but
my beautiful moon flow is a natural biological function and you know,
if it doesn’t bother my partner, it is not going to bother me. It has
never stopped me from wanting sex, and it’s never stopped me from
having sex. I’ve been lucky enough to have un-squeamish lovers who were
more than happy to throw down a towel and pay no attention to the man
behind the curtain. Keep another towel next to the bed for clean up,
and you are good to go.

We have enough stuff that we torture ourselves with and feel
self-conscious about. It is hard to say to a partner, hey, I feel
uncomfortable about my stomach and think it is ugly, because then we
fear that suddenly they will notice our hideous monster-belly and be
suddenly turned off. But our periods? They happen. They should be easy
to talk about. Make it easy to talk about–this is part of being a
woman, and having this body, and hey, you want to get it on? Because my
hormones are raging, honey pie, and I have never wanted you more. The
next step could very well be these are my hips, or this is my butt, or
these are my thighs and check out this rack, and you have never wanted
me more. Hell, sweetheart, I want me.

Do you have sex during your period?

27 Replies to “naked: period sex”

  1. Towards the end maybe, when it’s down to nothing but in the middle of the crampy, flowing like the Nile 1 or 2 days? Forget about it!! I’m lucky as I only have my period like 4-5 days so I don’t miss to much.

    Besides, we play highschoolers again, have some heavy petting nights and the hubby likes it cause he gets BJ’s during that time.

  2. Really, all you have to do is say in an elegant manner, “Darling, I’m a touch scarlet.”
    Because forewarning is just polite, non?

  3. Sometimes. Often I don’t feel like intercourse, but I certainly don’t shy away from sexual contact during my period.

  4. I would, but the boy is a tad squeamish. I’ll admit to being tricksy though and the last day I will anyway, without telling him, because it’s so light it’s barely even noticeable and certainly doesn’t require any clean up. I don’t even always use tampons, etc. when it’s that light.

    I’m lucky though that my period only lasts 4 days, so it’s not really an issue. And we don’t shun all sexual contact. Certainly NOT! He’s usually happy to give me a handjob and I’ll blow him or something. We’re very kissy and cuddly in general too. It’s quite nice!

    I’ll tell you what though, I wouldn’t allow my period to ruin my vacation. That’s so ridiculous! There’s lots of other things you can do. And if he doesn’t want to get all bloody than what about mutual masturbation? I’m, admittedly, in a newer relationship (6 months). But sometimes it’s nice to leave your underwear on and just fool around. Whatever. Have a good time. Don’t let a period ruin your day.

  5. not only does it not stop me, i would think twice about being with a guy who reacted with “ewwww” to the idea of sex while i had my period.
    throw down a towel and get it on! and afterwards, if his man parts are a tad messy, grab warm damp towel and clean him off with it.
    he’ll be begging for regular period sex.

  6. Yep, I agree with above posters – first few days, blow jobs for him. Last few days, go ahead and do it. If you think about it, men have weird clean-up needing fluids coming out of them every time they orgasm, but they obviously still have sex. No fair that theirs isn’t colored (unless you have black sheets or something, hmmm?) and thus easier to ignore.

  7. I agree with everything you’ve said. And no, I’ve never skipped the first few days, and I certainly didn’t throw more blowjobs out on the table. I don’t think it’s gross AT ALL. It’s even more enjoyable for me, and I’d like to think that my increased arousal means something to the guy I’m with.

  8. The best thing for PS is a diaphram. Keeps all the non-lubricating fluids inside, the towels/sheets tidy and generally makes things a bit more demure…

  9. I’m not afraid to tell my partner that I’m on my period but THAT doesn’t go up THERE when I’m oozing blood…noooo way.

  10. The only time it’s stopped me was when I didn’t feel like it for other reasons, although I will admit the heaviest of the heavy days just aren’t a sexy feeling for me. I’m extra lucky, actually; my ex wasn’t even squeamish about going down on my on lighter days. TMI? :)

  11. I have no problem as long as I feel up to it. My period only lasts 3-4 days but most of them are miserable, so the lack of sex is more due to being curled in the fetal position rocking slowly as opposed to being grossed out.

    I dated one guy who was completely grossed out, but other than that most guys seem to be pretty game. I wouldn’t blame a guy who didn’t want to go down on me during that time, but other than that, really? Grow up already.

  12. Doesn’t that get awfully messy? And bleh, I can barely function when I have my period. I’d rather not deal, especially when I only get it four times a year. *hugs seasonale*

  13. I’ve only had sex during my period a few times, and like some others have said it was more because of the whole being curled up in a fetal position begging God for relief from the pain than refusing to do it because it’s “gross”.
    Now I’m on birth control and skip all my periods, glory!

  14. my boy is squeamish about period sex. i have convinced him that it’s not fair for him to be that way and so now he will do it, but i still feel like he isn’t really that into it so we only do it on the lighter days. because of his distaste for it i think it makes me more self conscious as well.

    i used to give him more blow jobs or hand jobs during that time but f*** that shit now! ;)

  15. Well, I guess I am 32 & really, really old-fashioned. I hardly ever have sex during my period. I only get it 3-4 times/year thanks to the beauty of continuous birth control, but I admit that the last thing on my mind when I am bleeding is sex. I don’t think my husband would care in the slightest. But to me, it is about the most un-sexy, least body positive time for me.

    Then again, I certainly wouldn’t let that ruin a vacation. There are many other *pleasurable* activities that can happen & don’t involve intercourse. In fact, I would argue that is among the least pleasurable of possibilities, but that is a topic for another time.

  16. Yes, I have, and I probably will again, if I ever have sex again that is. It’s not all that bad if you don’t think about it too much. In fact it’s pretty damn good. Relieves cramps (I’ve found) and hey, it’s natural um…lubrication. OK, it didn’t sound so gross in my head. Though I’ve definitely also had the experience when after I thought AF was gone, someone paid a visit and someone paid a visit down in my nethers and came back not altogether happy about his ronald mcdonald face. OMG, I can’t believe I actually said that.

  17. I generally don’t partake during my cycle, but not because it is “gross.” It was not enjoyable, but actually ended up being painful. I would not try it again.

  18. Like a few others have said, the last few lighter days are fine for sex, but the first few days are off limits. I don’t feel like it and the whole towel on the bed thing just reminds me that I don’t feel like it. The one time I did have sex at the beginning of my period, it looked there’d been an axe murder in the bedroom.

    My answer is to have sex in the shower. Nice, clean, and soapy. Everybody wins.

  19. For years it did not stop me but I had a 3 day very light period. Then I had a baby and everything changed. Now I have a 5-6 day period and the middle 3 days are all bets off. My flow is so heavy that there really is no way without a huge mess. Believe me I tried.

    So like most of the other commenters I think it just depends on your body and also what you are comfortable with.

  20. No way, no how. Sorry. Just…. no. If you want to, go for it, and I wish you and your towel well. But not for me thanks!

    Husband wouldn’t ever do it anyway, but even if he could stomach it without making screwed up little disgusted faces and losing his ability to perform from sheer horror; *I* would be too uncomfortable. I find the idea way icky.

  21. Absolutely – it doesn’t really make a difference for me, since we always have washcloths near the bed to clean up anyway. (It’s useful if you’re too lazy to go to the bathroom afterwards, since it helps avoid UTIs, for me at least. Plus, I couldn’t go to sleep without cleaning up a bit anyway.) Just (obviously) make sure you have dark colored washcloths and a larger towel, since the alternative can be aggravating from a laundry standpoint.

  22. I’ve tried it before and thought it was fine. However, I have noticed that my cramps are more ferocious the next day and it usually adds an extra day to the length of my period. Not sure what’s up with that. But mmmm, sometimes you just have to get it on and damn the consquences.

  23. I only have a four day period, so my choice to forgo sex during the first two days – when the flow is really, super heavy – is not too much of a sacrifice. I’ve been talked into having sex during those heavy flow days before and I did NOT enjoy it at all, in fact it was probably the worst, most uncomfortable sex I ever had. Sex during the last couple of days are fine, so long as I remember to wash up beforehand and keep a towel around for mishaps and cleanup.

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