Sometimes, when you don’t want to have sex, when the idea of being
naked in front of someone and having them look at you fills you with
dread, when you’re convinced that a glance at your
expanses of creepy flesh would send the other person screaming into an endless
abyss of mind-terror from which they will never claw themselves free…well, it’s a problem. It’s inevitable; perhaps not at quite those
extremes, but even the very happiest and most confident of women are
going to have days where they dislike their bodies and wish they could
just take a break and be a brain in a jar for, like, a day. Maybe two.
It’s something to think about, to work on, to really try to overcome,
something that’s worth digging after and uprooting entirely–or as
entirely as possible–from your psyche, because, as we have noted
elsewhere and will continue noting until the end of time (or December),
you are very beautiful and that body of yours is amazing and can do
amazing things, for reals.
But sometimes, you just don’t want anything to do with it. Sometimes,
the idea of the physical is unappealing, the idea of sex is
unappetizing, the idea of nakedness seems like a chore and really,
couldn’t we just watch the CW? Girlfriends is on! As a friend of mine
says: sometimes, you have zero interest in sex. You don’t relate to
your body as a sexual thing at all. It’s not rooted in sexual
self-esteem or any kind of esteem at all, but there is suddenly a
distance and a divide from the whole idea of doing it.
And it’s not the greatest feeling of all great feelings, but it is, I
think, normal. I think it’s healthy, even. I don’t believe in the
mind/body divide, I don’t think you can separate the dancer from the
dance, as it were, but I think sometimes you need a break. I think
hormones ebb and swell, and mental priorities come crashing the line in
front of the physical priorities that are higher up in Maslow’s
Hierarchy of Needs and therefore less strictly necessary. I think it
happens. It’s normal when it happens. It might even be good that it
happens, sometimes, because you might need that break. Enjoy all the
stuff you get done while it lasts, even. But not for too long, because
orgasms are good for you, too.