While it’s easy to account for the subjectivity of friends and family, I always forget that it’s equally impossible for ME to be objective about myself. On my more insecure days, I dress in my most figure-flattering clothes and hope to see people who haven’t seen me in 6 months (when I weighed 40 lbs more). Then I berate myself for needing outside reinforcement to feel good about my body and my accomplishments. I find self-image issues utterly muddling and unbearably easy to overthink.

After I lost the weight, I started to think – ok, I’m finally thin! I’ve always wanted to be thin! Maybe I’m as thin as she is, or as she is over there! But when I see photos of myself, I simply look … average. Well-balanced. Not willowy or petite or at all what I’d hoped I looked like.

And I agree that it’s incredibly sad that I even think of my body this way in the first place.

It is not easy, but I do not think it is as hard to accomplish as world peace. We can not decide what the media is going to feed us. But he have the choice to reject what we don’t like, and sites like this one are proof that more and more people are rejecting the idea that you need to be skinny to be beautiful.

It just blows my mind that gorgeous, smart, accomplished women feel insecure about their looks, even when their loves ones assure them they are beautiful.

As I said before, I too struggle with insecurities and I do not claim to be better or stronger than anyone. But one day it really just hit me: WHO CARES? Who cares about the size? Who cares about magazines? I am healthy, I have an able body, I have family, friends and a husband who loves me. I have no excuse not to love this body.

What an interesting conversation!

What helps me soothe this obsessive tendency is to know that I am not alone and to receive reminders that engaging in the comparison game is harmful – both of which I can garner from conversations like this one. I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t just make myself feel better by thinking and reasoning and acting all on my own. I need help.

So, thanks.

And Ali, I am totally with you–it should be that easy, but it is insidious, it is creeping and it is almost impossible to just…turn it off. I really do wish it were as simple as saying okay, everybody! We don’t care anymore, fuck the diseased media and fuck the prejudiced expectations of all the people in the world who have very narrow definitions of beauty. We can try very hard to be as aware of it as possible, to try not to buy into it, to try to be brave and strong, but god knows it’s a herculean task and sometimes it just feels impossible to fight.

But thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it.