magical unicorn ponies

It is Friday! Seriously, it is. You can check. It is Friday, for reals, and if I am very careful, play my cards right, use my time well and am dedicated and industrious, I will only spend most of the weekend working instead of all of the weekend. This is a goal that I am shooting for. This is a goal that is going to find me up at three a.m. on Sunday, blood shooting out of my tear ducts and foam drying on my chin and down the front of the t-shirt I haven’t changed in four, five days.

What I want to do this weekend: well, it boils down to not work. But writ smaller and in list form, it goes something like sleep in, not-sleep in, waffles, nap, not-nap, load the dogs in the car and go hike up a mountain to the waterfall and go “ooooooo,” lattes and pie, nap on the couch with the TV on and the comforter tucked under our feets, fighting over the Wii controller, mac and cheese for dinner, nerdy nerd time with nerdiness in on EverQuest, retiring to not-sleep, then sleeping covered in dogs who steal the blankets and fart on your pillow. Please feel free to rinse and repeat, only with French toast and then pizza, maybe some ice cream and bowling instead of hiking, maybe a little more napping and some DVDs instead of the Wii . Possibly fewer dog farts. Maybe a ride on a magical unicorn pony with stirrups made of candy over to the magical land of wishes where you win at Naked Yahtzee! all the time and the flowers crap percoset and everyone wants a piece of your ass. While I’m at it, I mean.

If wishes were horses, I would be very disappointed because I got horses instead of wishes and I don’t have room for all these horses in my house. I’d also be pissed, because why did I get a car when I had all these horses around to take me to the grocery store and pull me in a cart and count up to ten? I clearly don’t think things through very well.

photo by Vaguely Artistic