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"happiness and craziness"
My brother and his wife are world travelers. They went to Thailand on their honeymoon, have been to Istanbul and Mexico and South America and all over Europe, and Carrie even spent a month in Africa. The two of them, they love to travel, and they have beautiful photos to show when [...]
Right now, I’m broke. Brokety-broke. Broke-diggity. I mean like, dust in my bank account, holy shit how am I going to pay my half of the mortgage kind of broke.
It’s my own fault—obviously the money fairies didn’t come nibble away at the pile of coins that used to glimmer so charmingly [...]
Okay. So first, you taper the dose of Effexor you’re taking. You do this slowly, because there are physical side effects that occur, among them the “brain zap,” as it’s called. Jennette has a very good explanation of why that is here.
You begin to experience the withdrawal effects, but you’re also [...]
It was when I was thrift store shopping that I remembered that one of the things I want to do when I get a wheelbarrow full of money, besides purchase a nuclear-powered stove and get my name etched on the surface of the moon, was get a tummy tuck. Flat-out, straight-up plastic surgery.
I [...]
Sometimes I feel like despite of All The Adversity, I still manage to comport myself as a fairly adult member of society. I’m generally responsible and reasonably with-it. I pay my bills, I floss, I change the sheets weekly, I keep up with the laundry and the dishes. My deadlines are all met [...]
I surprised myself yesterday when I realized I’ve written two books. That’s not, like, a lot of books. It’s a very small number of books, in fact. It is more than one, which is its distinguishing characteristic, but it’s a lot less than, say, fifteen.
But two books feels like a [...]
One of those days where every single thing in the whole wide world is stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. You are stupid and you, and you and you and especially you and I hate you all, but that’s okay, because I hate myself even more, okay? Okay then!
I laid in bed for [...]
Every once in awhile I develop this overwhelming desire to become a better person—someone who smells better, looks better, acts better, is better. I think this is a unique phenomenon that should probably be studied by scientists as something brand-new and unusual that no one on earth has ever experienced ever in the history of [...]
If I stick to my schedule—and I am dorky enough to have carefully written out a schedule—I will be finished with the second rewrite of my memoir come Saturday afternoon. On my schedule, there is a note that says “SUN: Day of Rest.” And then a space, and then below that, “MON: Line [...]
The biggest, most gigantic thing in my life—literally, actually, if I pause a second to consider actual sizes—is the fact that we bought a house, Eben and I. We spent months and months looking at house after house—about 80 of them. And we spent months and months arguing and negotiating and complaining and being stressed [...]
