Comments for jen larsen dot net

Comment on on drafts, finished and future by Janine

Janine — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 15:30:22 +0000

I am enthralled. I found your blog through a link about your weight loss article. With one click I found myself delighted. I can’t relate to the weight loss surgery thing as I haven’t experienced it but your writing! OMG! It tickles my brain. It exercises my smile muscles. It is a pleasure. You are a wonderful writer. I believe you will have great success with whatever genre you choose. Congrats on completing your first book. I know how hard it is to finish the first one. I have been trying for 20 some odd years with 5 separate novels. You have another fan who looks to devour every word for entertainment and inspiration.

Comment on on being fancy by Sue

Sue — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 20:17:06 +0000

I had gastric stapling about 17 years ago and lost 130 lbs. I am 5ft 7in and was 275. Always a “pretty face” with lots of talent, before I had surgery I was even the girl singer in a 4+ guy band. So, I was not ignored, but I had a husband who one day picked up a full length mirror off the door and said, “You may think you are pretty, and that all these guys that talk to you after you sing think you are gorgeous, but in actuality who would want to f— that? I mean, really, who would?” Well, a year after that, I had the gastric stapling and my weight plummetted to about 135, I was thin, gorgeous, I was confident, I wore clothes that clung to me, I was the sh–. However, the horrible husband that had said those hurtful things shot himself 2 days after my Mom died of brain cancer and then 2 months later, my Dad died of gastric and liver cancer. Well, my weight began rising, we all know who have had gastric surgery, that you can bypass what you are supposed to eat and even if you eat things that “get stuck” on the way down, you can always vomit up the stuck food and start again. About 5 or 6 years later, there I was again, at 250 lbs+, with no singing voice because of all the vomiting and trying to keep my world together. A lot of my weight came back because I self-medicated with liquor and that itself was its own problem to fix. I met a man through a dating website (one that asks about a million questions before you are matched with anyone) after many dates, good and bad. He loved me for ME. I started having more and more problems eating because the gastric stapling had stenosed and left a hard ring of tissue around the top of my stomach, where the esophagus enters, so I had problems eating almost everything. It goes without saying I was miserable and sick. So, I began a long search starting in the gastroenterologist’s office that ended in a gastric bypass. But, I only lost about 30 lbs. I realized that I had not changed what or how I ate or how I moved or did not move my body. Well, I am 3 years out from the bypass and 60 lbs lighter than when I started, I wear a size 12-14 depending on the maker of the clothes, but I still sag where I would like not to sag. I have problems finding a bathroom quickly enough and nausea with diarrhea is my constant companion. I am currently working on aerobic tapes, walking and yoga-type movements for stress release. I also must do exercises to strengthen my colon and rectal muscles or the diarrhea is uncontrolable. Surgery or even 2 surgeries did not bestow on me the “magic wand” that I wanted. Weight loss is a day by day thing and sagginess is dependent upon your genetic body type. The best thing I could tell someone is that there is a LOT of maintenance AFTER surgery that you don’t know about even with all the doctor’s and psychologist’s warnings: Vitamin B injections twice a week, Vitamin D supplements, concerns over osteoporosis, horrible pain if you DO overeat that lasts a LONG time after the thrill of the meal and countless others. Surgery is like a tool in your weight-loss toolbox. And anyone that has ever fixed anything broken knows that you have to use MORE THAN ONE TOOL to get the job done.
Good luck to you and ALL of you that have had the surgery, are contemplating the surgery or, like me, are trying to cope with problems AFTER the surgery. It is great to be whistled at when you are 53, like I am, but I am not in a bikini when they are whistling. Love, luck, perseverence and fate brought a kind and loving husband into my life that makes this journey bearable. Just a footnote: he LIKES what he sees in my mirror, even if I would like the image to be different.
Best of luck and health to you all.
Cordially,
Sue

Comment on on being fancy by Anna

Anna — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 15:41:16 +0000

As a therapist who has consulted many women in your situation over the years, I’m so glad you wrote about your truth. I’ll be sharing your article with many others.

I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to hear a former fat woman admit her anger at the thin world and hate of skinny women in an informative, reflective manner. I get so sick of hearing fat women carp on and on about how they’re discriminated against when they spew their own hate and rage like fire hoses…especially if anyone dares to suggest that that the Holy Grail of Skinny won’t solve all their problems.
None of my clients are more rageful than the morbidly obese, and it only gets worse when they lose weight. When the entitlement bubble bursts and you find out that skinny people still pay rent, struggle with jobs, feel bad if they gain weight, and don’t have lines of hot/sexy/rich men at their beck and call….the rage becomes volcanic.
When other humans don’t want to deal with such caustic people, and the former fat woman can’t blame other’s distaste of them on their fat, it gets really ugly. I find that it goes one of two ways at that point: the person does what you did and faces their true problems, or they gain weight again and return to the comfort of emnity, resentment, blame and rage.
Heroin and crack addicts are easier to deal with than overweight rageaholics with their silent screams, smiles and rampant insistence of victim status.
Yes, the world is easier for skinny people, as well as for those with sight, use of all limbs, disease-free status, the educated, white, & employed. The number on your scale is only that: the number on YOUR scale.

Comment on on being fancy by Judy Gibbens

Judy Gibbens — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:55:02 +0000

I am blown away by this blog;and amazed there are so many articulate former fatties. I am contemplating bariatric surgery — 275, 5′6 and been that way for twenty years. I was turned down once because of money probems and am working on my weight; the 275 is less than I am used to carrying. I have lost a little under 10 pounds recently; so good for the self esteem. Scared to death I will go bonkers and gain it all back in a single bad day! My personal baggage is pretty heavy but I am convinced I can do it. I know the hard part is keeping it off — sad experience had already told me that!

Comment on on being fancy by Barbara

Barbara — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 09:58:45 +0000

Hello, I have had the bariatric surgery as well. I understand everything you are saying in your article, I had depression and problems associated with fat and problems that contributed to getting fat. A good surgeon will make sure you go through a phsych evaluation so you know and understand what things will get better and what things still need to be addressed. Therapy and surgery were great for me. I feel wonderful after my 125bl weight loss. I still have moody days but because of fat. Good luck to you and all who go through the process!

Comment on obsession by Melissa

Melissa — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 06:20:44 +0000

This is a great blog! The obessions are so crazy and such a time waster. Why do we do this nutty stuff? Why is this food so powerful?

Comment on on being fancy by Charlene

Charlene — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:04:58 +0000

Hi, I would like to ask you something. I had weight loss surgery 3 years ago and lost a lot of weight, but now seem to have saging all over from my face to you name it. What can someone do about that expecily the face part?

Comment on on being fancy by Dina

Dina — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:52:47 +0000

Glad to hear not the only one struggling through the post drama following so called miracle surgery. Well its a miracle we made it out of surgery. Wish i had never gone to such extremes. to late for regrets. i lost 100lbs and gained them all back. Now have lost 70 through diet and exercise and still struggling with all the crap that comes with trying to define what a normal body should be. thanks for the great insight.

Comment on on being fancy by Cindy

Cindy — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:07:03 +0000

I had wieght loss surgery about 8 years ago. In some ways it is the easy way. I actually lost weight which I couldn’t do on my own. But it’s all an exchange. Now I have to work at keeping my vitamin levels up. I still get depressed and am still moody. I still want to eat things that I shouldn’t. The surgery does not change who you are but if you are serious and willing to work at it, it takes away a major hurdle in making the changes you want to make. Bottom line though, being thinner makes living in this world easier, physically, socially and emotionally. Oh yeah, I still have to watch my weight but at least there is about 150 lb less to watch.

Comment on on being fancy by Maria

Maria — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:51:59 +0000

I am 48 5′7″ and about 270 . . .I have tried diets and exercise and cannot seem to stick to them . . I have been considering weight loss surgery but it seems like everyone is trying to discourage me, telling me I am not that much overweight . . .I just want to be thin so that men will notice me again as I haven’t been on a date in 20 years