halloween cures all ills

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Photo via Splash

Are you stressed? Are you sad? Are you sad and stressed and tired? It has become absolute scientific fact (because I read it on the Internets) that Halloween is good for you and will fix all problems, everywhere, for everyone. Research says that no matter how bad the economy is, that Halloween candy spending and costume-buying remains on the rise, with Americans spending over five billion dollars on the holiday. That is the kind of stimulated economy behind which I can get.

And with everyone all stimulated and stimulating the economy, cheerfulness goes up, wigs get broken out, and everyone gets even cheerier–Halloween as debauched, wild crazy time for adults has come back in vogue:

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halloween fail

My big plan for this Halloween was that I would be an Ewok. And not just any Ewok–I was going to go as Wicket W. Warrick, boyfriend of Princess Neesa who is the daughter of Chief Chirpa his ownself! Why would I go as Wickett instead of Princess Kneessa? Because Wicket is awesome, that’s why. He is my favorite Ewok. I would have been such a good Ewok, and this is because I have things like favorite Ewoks and was also willing to spend the entire night going “Yub nub!”  And totally sabotaging Empire soldiers and stuff. Also I have no dignity.

But an Ewok costume takes preparation and time and planning and a trip to the fabric store, and tracking down a big teddy bear, in order to murder it and wear its scalp, and big furry boots, and the headdress (and I had totally forgotten about the slingshot, but of course Wicket requires a slingshot!). I thought I had plenty of time and there were decades left before Halloween rolled around, but as I have noted elsewhere, time is flinging itself off a cliff to its death with wild abandon and Halloween in one week from today.

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